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Please put more jokes here

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    What's the best way to smuggle drugs in Paris?

    Up her arse.
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      Luis Suárez joins Barcelona for £75 million.

      La Liga confirm tetanus injections are now mandatory for all players.
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        My wife keeps calling me lazy and useless just because I don't have a Job. I keep telling her that being on paternity leave isn't easy

        And she keeps telling me he starts University next month.
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          According to OPEC, the USA are now the world's greatest producer of oil.

          How are they going to invade themselves?
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            Police interview a politician suspected of abusing children in the 1980s at Elm Guest House. When asked what he did, the politician replies "I only did what the other MPs told me to do. Bugger all".
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              Young women are spiraling into debt copying their celebrity idols such as Kerry Katona and Katie Price.

              Someone better tell them it costs nothing to be a brainless bint
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                In a quiz, my school teacher asked me:
                "What did Rolf Harris do?"

                Perhaps "Two Little Boys" wasn't a good answer.
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  Victoria Beckham has just announced her partnership with a well known fragrance brand.

                  Coming this Christmas: Old Posh Spice.
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    With all this sexual abuse in the news lately, I've just turned the TV over and heard about a gang apparently called 'jockeys' riding 2 yr olds on a regular basis with nobody doing anything about it.
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      Some of our posters?

                      Why do they advertise online poker on TV at 2am?

                      I'm sitting in my underwear, watching Dave while eating a pot noodle as it drips down my vest. I'm not exactly the luckiest person in the world.
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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