• Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
  • Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!

Please put more jokes here

Collapse
X
  •  
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    There are two sides to every argument, and they are usually married to each other.
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      A lot of prisoners fall prey to Muslim gangs and find it hard to resist the coercion to convert to Islam.

      Given that Rolf already has the beard and has f***ed an 8 year old, he's a shoe-in.
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        I once went to an open air Queen concert. There was a terrible electrical storm during the performance.

        Thunderbolts and lightning. Very, very frightening.
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          Rolf Harris and Andy Coulson are sharing a prison cell.

          Andy says to Rolf 'You make me sick, fondling little girls'.

          Rolf retaliates 'You're even worse!'

          Andy is shocked - 'Phone hacking is nowhere near as sick!'

          Rolf - Phone hacking?! I was referring to you shagging that ugly ginger bitch, Brooks.
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            The girl who gave 24 blowjobs for a free drink in Magaluf will be entering Britain's Got Talent.

            She will be in the sword swallowing category.
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              I only need to get locked up for a few months I can meet all my heroes from the 70s
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                When the girl who performed 24 sex acts to get a drink in Magaluf was asked how she was going to cope with the media frenzy she replied... "I'll just have to keep my head down & wait for it to blow over"
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  Is the idea of a 'jokes' thread not that they're meant to be funny ????
                  When freedom comes along, don't PISH in the water supply.....

                  Comment


                    What are the odds of getting a blowjob in Magaluf?

                    24 to 1.
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      Rolf Harris's sentence has been referred to the Attorney General on the grounds that it was too lenient.

                      It certainly was. They didn't take into account his music career.
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

                      Working...
                      X