Please put more jokes here

[BrilloPad]

The weasel was very upset when he saw the badger ahead of him in the grocery shop ordering half a pound of tuppeny rice and half a pound of treacle.

[Bellona]

One for the Girls

A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer.
The husband puts, "Mypenis".
Wife ROFL at the message that pops up.............
"Error. Not long enough."

[BrilloPad]

One for the boys

You can tell if a woman likes you by her feet.

If they are behind her ears she likes you.

[vetran]

its what he would have wanted!

trading standards think I am tight for trying to get my money back on my Bottom Live DVD.



Rik Mayall has died only a few days after returning from filming in Portugal.

Lucky he died over here. If he'd died in Portugal it'd have taken the police a decade to find his body.


On hearing the sad news about Rik Mayall, David Walliams said: "He made me want to be a comedian."

Yeah, but Rik did good stuff too!!



and a twofer

I bet Jimmy Savile gets the horn when he finds out a young one has died!

[vetran]

There's been a new therapy group set up for Tourettes sufferers,
'Tourette's Welfare And Treatment'.

[vetran]

Justin Bieber's career in ruins.

Proving once and for all that racism can be a good thing.

[vetran]

Scientists have found that married couples share similar DNA.

Mind you, the study was done in Norfolk.

[vetran]

What's the difference between terrorism and democracy?

Whether the United States is attacking or being attacked.

[vetran]

Nicolas Cage said in an interview that he avoids watching his own movies.

He's not the only one.

[vetran]

My self harming, cannibal friend recently tried his hand at cooking.