The weasel was very upset when he saw the badger ahead of him in the grocery shop ordering half a pound of tuppeny rice and half a pound of treacle.
- Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
- Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!
Please put more jokes here
Collapse
X
Collapse
-
-
One for the Girls
A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer.
The husband puts, "Mypenis".
Wife ROFL at the message that pops up.............
"Error. Not long enough."If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, quacks like a duck,it must be a duckComment
-
One for the boys
You can tell if a woman likes you by her feet.
If they are behind her ears she likes you.Comment
-
its what he would have wanted!
trading standards think I am tight for trying to get my money back on my Bottom Live DVD.
Rik Mayall has died only a few days after returning from filming in Portugal.
Lucky he died over here. If he'd died in Portugal it'd have taken the police a decade to find his body.
On hearing the sad news about Rik Mayall, David Walliams said: "He made me want to be a comedian."
Yeah, but Rik did good stuff too!!
and a twofer
I bet Jimmy Savile gets the horn when he finds out a young one has died!Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
-
There's been a new therapy group set up for Tourettes sufferers,
'Tourette's Welfare And Treatment'.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
-
Justin Bieber's career in ruins.
Proving once and for all that racism can be a good thing.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
-
Scientists have found that married couples share similar DNA.
Mind you, the study was done in Norfolk.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
-
What's the difference between terrorism and democracy?
Whether the United States is attacking or being attacked.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
-
Nicolas Cage said in an interview that he avoids watching his own movies.
He's not the only one.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
-
My self harming, cannibal friend recently tried his hand at cooking.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
- Home
- News & Features
- First Timers
- IR35 / S660 / BN66
- Employee Benefit Trusts
- Agency Workers Regulations
- MSC Legislation
- Limited Companies
- Dividends
- Umbrella Company
- VAT / Flat Rate VAT
- Job News & Guides
- Money News & Guides
- Guide to Contracts
- Successful Contracting
- Contracting Overseas
- Contractor Calculators
- MVL
- Contractor Expenses
Advertisers
Contractor Services
CUK News
- Contractors, seen Halifax’s 18-month fixed rate remortgage? Today 09:59
- Contractors, don’t be fooled by HMRC Spotlight 67 on MSCs Yesterday 09:20
- HMRC warns IT consultants and others of 12 ‘payroll entities’ Dec 3 09:15
- How you think you look on LinkedIn vs what recruiters see Dec 2 09:00
- Reports of umbrella companies’ death are greatly exaggerated Nov 28 10:11
- A new hiring fraud hinges on a limited company, a passport and ‘Ade’ Nov 27 09:21
- Is an unpaid umbrella company required to pay contractors? Nov 26 09:28
- The truth of umbrella company regulation is being misconstrued Nov 25 09:23
- Labour’s plan to regulate umbrella companies: a closer look Nov 21 09:24
- When HMRC misses an FTT deadline but still wins another CJRS case Nov 20 09:20
Comment