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Please put more jokes here

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    I asked a pretty, young, homeless woman if I could take her home. She replied yes with a big smile.


    The look on her face soon changed when I walked off with her cardboard box.

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      I unbelievably just got a message from my computer's spellcheck saying they detected an "increasing frequency in my writing errors" and offered me some general suggestions for improvement.


      I wouldn't have thought anything of it, but the first thing they advised is that I unsubscribe from the Guardian

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        If Donald Trump is impeached, does that mean he will no longer be orange?

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          Why whenever I hear the phrase 'deep fake porn' do I immediately think of Katie Price?

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            Frank Lampards wife Christine has announced she is pregnant.
            John Terry is said to be excited at the prospect of becoming a Dad again

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              During the 80's the Palestinian leader tried really hard for peas in the middle east.


              Don't you mean peace?


              No, he was Yasser Marrowfat

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                "Teen climate activist Greta Thunberg featured on postage stamp".


                Can't wait until she finds out that international mail is delivered by planes.

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                  too true

                  Me: "This show is boring."


                  Boss: "Once again Dave, this is a Zoom conference."

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                    What can you say during sex that you can also say at an insurrection?


                    "Wait, let's film ourselves doing this..."

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                      My mate works for the council putting up Cul-De-Sac signs around my town.




                      It's a dead end job.

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