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Previously on "Please put more jokes here"

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  • vetran
    replied
    They say '50 is the new 30'.

    I still got three points on my licence though.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Koreans are like a box of chocolates.

    They'll kill your dog!

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Trump is publishing another book about business, this one has six chapter elevens.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Gareth Southgate admits Mick Lynch is England's best striker.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Someone threw a bottle of Mayo at me

    What the Hellman!

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    **** off Holly & Phil I'm seeing Coolio's coffin before you

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Coolio dies and leaves his management entourage.

    Or as he called them, the gangster's parasites.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Originally posted by NotAllThere View Post
    Just had a message from a random guy asking to meet in the woods to compare dick sizes. ******* weirdo didn't even turn up.
    FTFY

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    I've just been diagnosed with terminal D.I.Y shoppers syndrome.



    I've been given six Wickes to live.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    The other day I tried archery blindfolded.

    You don't know what you're missing!

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    I went up to one of Darth Vader's henchmen and told him, he weighed 96 Kg
    He replied pedantically, I'm actually 15 Stone 1 .

    Bloody Imperial Stormtroopers

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Originally posted by NotAllThere View Post
    FTFY
    I respect YOUR lived experience!

    Leave a comment:


  • NotAllThere
    replied
    Originally posted by vetran View Post
    STD's

    Proof that your wife is having sex with someone besides yourself.
    FTFY

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    A quantum experiment carried out by physicists indicates two versions of reality existing at the same time.

    Bet James Corden's a fat twit in both of 'em.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Trying to find a fit bird at the pub is similar to playing crazy golf.

    You want to get to the perfect hole but your balls always end up bouncing off some hippo's teeth.

    Leave a comment:

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