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vetran

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#7661

23 November 2020, 13:36

I've accidentally swallowed invisible ink"

I've called the doctor but he can't see me

"If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

I want to see the hand of history on his collar.
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vetran

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#7662

23 November 2020, 13:38

I was sacked from an insect repellent company for being dyslexic so I destroyed their computers.

There's no files on me

"If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

I want to see the hand of history on his collar.
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vetran

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#7663

23 November 2020, 20:12

Boris Johnson has said live on BBC TV that the Government will use the 3 tools in its armoury to fight COVID-19

Michael Gove, Nick Hancock and Dominic Raab I assume

"If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

I want to see the hand of history on his collar.
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vetran

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#7664

23 November 2020, 20:13

The wife and I used to like a night in the pub and enjoyed an active sex life.
Then we met each other and got married.

"If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

I want to see the hand of history on his collar.
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vetran

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#7665

24 November 2020, 16:23

I accidentally played dad instead of dead when the bear attacked,

now it can ride a bike without stabilisers.

"If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

I want to see the hand of history on his collar.
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vetran

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#7666

24 November 2020, 16:30

"If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

I want to see the hand of history on his collar.
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vetran

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#7667

24 November 2020, 16:31

"If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

I want to see the hand of history on his collar.
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vetran

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#7668

24 November 2020, 16:32

"If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

I want to see the hand of history on his collar.
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vetran

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#7669

24 November 2020, 16:37

"If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

I want to see the hand of history on his collar.
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vetran

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#7670

24 November 2020, 17:33

for me

"If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

I want to see the hand of history on his collar.
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