Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

My Grandad used to always say:

“Two heads are better than one.”

Top bloke, tulip at minting coins.

[vetran]

I hardly drive anywhere yet have recently bought a Ferrari, a BMW, an RX-7, a Mercedes-Benz and an Aston Martin.

I clearly have the car owner virus.

[vetran]

The royal family are said to be in a state of fear over what might be leaked in tonight's Meghan and Oprah interview.

Sources within Buckingham Palace told reporters "The entire family are sweating. Apart from Andrew obviously"

[vetran]

My favourite childhood memory is making mud pies with my grandad.

Until mum found out and hid the urn.

[vetran]

What do you call a Posh Hoover.

Hooray Henry.

[vetran]

If Cinderella's shoe fitted so perfectly, why did it fall off in the first place?

[vetran]

Is the Vicar of Dibley star Trevor Peacock who played Jim Trott dead?

No no no no no no yes.

[vetran]

My ex-wife tried to humiliate me by telling all her friends I was terrible in bed.

Imagine her surprise when they all disagreed.

[vetran]

I think Harry should take up painting, (if Meghan will let him of course).

Then he can call himself, 'The Artist Formerly Known As Prince'.

[vetran]

The government have promised the same mistakes which arose during the handling of Princess Diana won't be allowed to happen again.

This time, we'll get a bank holiday & none of the football will be cancelled.