Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

Whenever someone says to me "great minds think alike" I just look at them and think 'you sick bastard'!

[vetran]

As she ascended to the white pearly gates, princess Diana chuckled to herself, there, she was greated with open arms by St Peter.

"Am...am I... In heaven" she chuckled to herself.

"Yes my child, but please, before you come in... Wipe that Merc off your face"

[vetran]

"Thief nabbed after GPS finds bike"

I'm surprised they have the time to go sleuthing considering how busy are the hospitals.

[vetran]

I keep thinking I'm someone that helps deliver babies.

I think I'm having a midwife crisis.

[vetran]

What's the Queen's favourite song?
'Things That Make You Go HM'

[NotAllThere]

What's the Queen's favourite song?
'Things That Make You Go HM'

Favourite shop?

[vetran]

Last night I had to lock the dog out the room whilst me and my girlfriend had sex. All last night it was scratching on the door whining

“I’m your wife how could you do this”

[vetran]

Boris johnson is expected to do a u-turn on the pay rise for nurses after coming under pressure....he will agree to an increase from clapping to saluting, he is even considering blowing kisses

[vetran]

My girlfriend said, that when doing cunilingus on her. I should imagine forming the 26 letters of the alphabet with my tongue. I tried it, and she absolutely loved it.



But sadly she's now left me for some Chinese guy.

[vetran]

What's the best way to delegate?

I'm asking for a friend.