Whenever someone says to me "great minds think alike" I just look at them and think 'you sick bastard'!
- Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
- Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!
Please put more jokes here
Collapse
X
Collapse
-
-
As she ascended to the white pearly gates, princess Diana chuckled to herself, there, she was greated with open arms by St Peter.
"Am...am I... In heaven" she chuckled to herself.
"Yes my child, but please, before you come in... Wipe that Merc off your face"Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
-
"Thief nabbed after GPS finds bike"
I'm surprised they have the time to go sleuthing considering how busy are the hospitals.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
-
I keep thinking I'm someone that helps deliver babies.
I think I'm having a midwife crisis.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
-
What's the Queen's favourite song?
'Things That Make You Go HM'Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
-
Originally posted by vetran View PostWhat's the Queen's favourite song?
'Things That Make You Go HM'
Down with racism. Long live miscegenation!Comment
-
Last night I had to lock the dog out the room whilst me and my girlfriend had sex. All last night it was scratching on the door whining
“I’m your wife how could you do this”Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
-
Boris johnson is expected to do a u-turn on the pay rise for nurses after coming under pressure....he will agree to an increase from clapping to saluting, he is even considering blowing kissesAlways forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
-
My girlfriend said, that when doing cunilingus on her. I should imagine forming the 26 letters of the alphabet with my tongue. I tried it, and she absolutely loved it.
But sadly she's now left me for some Chinese guy.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
-
What's the best way to delegate?
I'm asking for a friend.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
- Home
- News & Features
- First Timers
- IR35 / S660 / BN66
- Employee Benefit Trusts
- Agency Workers Regulations
- MSC Legislation
- Limited Companies
- Dividends
- Umbrella Company
- VAT / Flat Rate VAT
- Job News & Guides
- Money News & Guides
- Guide to Contracts
- Successful Contracting
- Contracting Overseas
- Contractor Calculators
- MVL
- Contractor Expenses
Advertisers
Contractor Services
CUK News
- Spot the hidden contractor Dec 20 10:43
- Accounting for Contractors Dec 19 15:30
- Chartered Accountants with MarchMutual Dec 19 15:05
- Chartered Accountants with March Mutual Dec 19 15:05
- Chartered Accountants Dec 19 15:05
- Unfairly barred from contracting? Petrofac just paid the price Dec 19 09:43
- An IR35 case law look back: contractor must-knows for 2025-26 Dec 18 09:30
- A contractor’s Autumn Budget financial review Dec 17 10:59
- Why limited company working could be back in vogue in 2025 Dec 16 09:45
- Expert Accounting for Contractors: Trusted by thousands Dec 12 14:47
Comment