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Please put more jokes here

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    The wife suggested if I was bored during lockdown, to make a bird table.

    Now she's kicking off because I've only put her in fifth place..
    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

    Comment


      I've just been evicted.

      Unlike Tiger Woods, I need a place to crash.
      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

      Comment


        Lockdown has been tough for many parents, with their children off school and running riot around the house.

        My son's been no trouble at all though - he's been glued to the TV night and day.

        No More Nails is such a great invention.
        Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

        Comment


          MF

          The only thing bigger than a DFS sale.
          Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

          Comment


            I have worked for Madame Tussauds for 40 years, and When I retire in 10 years time, I have been promised a miniature bust of me to commemorate my loyal service to the company, but here I go again getting a little head of myself.
            Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

            Comment


              Latest news on Tiger Woods, is that he's resting in bed and sedated for precautionary purposes..

              Presumably, to stop him trying to shag two of his nurses.
              Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

              Comment


                Tiger into the rough
                Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                Comment


                  Sheriff said regarding the Tiger Woods crash that there was "no skidmarks".

                  Have they checked inside his underwear?
                  Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                  Comment


                    Tiger Woods owns a lot of expensive cars.

                    Now he has a hole in one.
                    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                    Comment


                      I was a bit like Jesus last Christmas.

                      I told my colleague at the X-Mas party that I had been banging his wife, and I got Frank incensed.
                      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                      Comment

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