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Please put more jokes here

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    Stop taking the piss out of Biden!


    That's his nurse's job.
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      too true

      I asked my son to pass me the television remote control.


      "Did your dad bother you and make you get the remote?," he asked.


      "Listen, you little tulip,' I said, "I was the remote."
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        was aTw working up to it?

        just got back from hospital . ... I had a mole removed from my penis. The surgeon said I'll be OK,..
        but the RSPCA said they'll prosecute if I ever do it again.
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          This year I will most probably have to spend Valentine's day at home, on my own, crying and wanking


          Same as every year since 1995
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            Day 286 without sex.



            Went jogging in flip flops just to remember the sound.
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              New research shows porn gives young people an unrealistic and unhealthy idea of how quickly a plumber will come to your house.
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                I've just read that having orgasms is one of the healthiest ways to relieve stress.
                So does that mean if you're told to go "F**K yourself" what they are really saying is "I care about you"?
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  Does Africa have a Lynx 'England' that smells of cigarettes and disappointment?
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    If I wasn't a depressed alcoholic I would be married with kids and a mortgage by now.


                    Every cloud...
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      I read somewhere that 6.7% of people have an alcohol problem, and I couldn't help thinking, "6.7%...that would make a pretty strong beer."
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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