Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

NASA: First person on Mars could be a woman.


So when the men arrive, dinner will be ready.

[vetran]

A mate called and said, "I've just had a huge fight with the wife. Do you have a spare bed for a few weeks until I find a flat?"


I replied, "I've a sofa, if that's any good."


"Perfect," he said, "you're an absolute legend! I'll send her round in a bit."

[vetran]

As a newly qualified vet, I’m now permitted to treat animals.




Tonight, I took a herd of cows out for drinks.

[vetran]

I can’t believe it’s rioting season already.

I still have my Covid decorations up.

[vetran]

A little girl asks her mum "mummy, how was I born"


Her mother smiled and replied "once upon a time your daddy and I decided to plant a wonderful tiny seed.
Your daddy planted it in the earth and I took care of it every single day.
After a while the seed germinated and grew tall with many leaves until it became a lovely healthy plant.
Then we dried it and smoked it and got so high we forgot to use a condom"

[vetran]

I've found that vegan meals require a blender.


It makes them easy to pour down the sink.

[BR14]

a veritable torrent of crap jokes.
get a lucky bag or summat?

[vetran]

Does anyone know if they have early morning looting hours for seniors?

[vetran]

When I was a young lad, my body was a temple.


A lot of priests entered it.

[ladymuck]

a veritable torrent of crap jokes.
get a lucky bag or summat?

I think the job lot coincides with release of the reader's digest