Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

Just got a letter from Screwfix.. Turns out they are not a dating agency

[WTFH]

I’m fat but I’ve decided to identify as skinny.
I’m trans-slender.

I’m fat but I’ve decided to identify as skinny.
I’m trans-slender.

Are you twins?

[vetran]

What’s invisible and smells like carrots?


Rabbit farts.

[vetran]

Just had the following conversation with my wife.


Wife: Can’t believe how much weight I’ve gained since lockdown.
Me: You haven’t gained that much weight. Come on… chin up. No, the other one.

[vetran]

As I sat down next to a bloke on the bus he gave me a really strange look.
“That’s typical,” I thought. “The bus is empty and yet I still end up sitting next to a ******** nutcase.”

[vetran]

Just broken up with my girlfriend due to religious differences… She failed to worship me.

[vetran]

Yo mama so stupid…


She even failed her blood test!

[vetran]

Things that can drive wife crazy during lockdown:


-Not saying sorry
-Saying sorry and not meaning it
-Saying sorry
-Not saying anything
-Saying anything
-Breathing!!

[vetran]

Yo mama so ugly even bob the builder cant fix her.

[vetran]

Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank,



give a man a bank and he can rob the world.