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Please put more jokes here

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    Just got a letter from Screwfix.. Turns out they are not a dating agency
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      Originally posted by vetran View Post

      I’m fat but I’ve decided to identify as skinny.
      I’m trans-slender.





      I’m fat but I’ve decided to identify as skinny.
      I’m trans-slender.
      Are you twins?
      {emotionless greeting}

      Three Word Slogan

      Comment


        What’s invisible and smells like carrots?


        Rabbit farts.
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          Just had the following conversation with my wife.


          Wife: Can’t believe how much weight I’ve gained since lockdown.
          Me: You haven’t gained that much weight. Come on… chin up. No, the other one.
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            As I sat down next to a bloke on the bus he gave me a really strange look.
            “That’s typical,” I thought. “The bus is empty and yet I still end up sitting next to a ******** nutcase.”
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              Just broken up with my girlfriend due to religious differences… She failed to worship me.
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                Yo mama so stupid…


                She even failed her blood test!
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  Things that can drive wife crazy during lockdown:


                  -Not saying sorry
                  -Saying sorry and not meaning it
                  -Saying sorry
                  -Not saying anything
                  -Saying anything
                  -Breathing!!
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    Yo mama so ugly even bob the builder cant fix her.
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank,



                      give a man a bank and he can rob the world.
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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