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Please put more jokes here

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    Originally posted by ladymuck View Post
    I think the job lot coincides with release of the reader's digest
    does that still exist? and people read it?

    oh, dear

    Comment


      Originally posted by ladymuck View Post
      I think the job lot coincides with release of the reader's digest

      sickipedia download!

      I occasionally trim the really offensive & pathetic ones out and put the good ones here.
      Last edited by vetran; 21 June 2020, 13:24.
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        "I got a new, small rectangular cloth bag stuffed with feathers or other soft materials, used to support the head when lying or sleeping."

        "Can we get back to the sex, please?"
        "Sorry, just a little pillow talk."
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          Katie Price is to be commended for staying two metres apart during the lock down.
          Well, her legs do anyway.
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            Did you hear about the transgender vegan
            He was a herbefore
            Last edited by vetran; 22 June 2020, 16:36. Reason: LM told me off!
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              So Starbucks have announced that the lockdown has cost their business about £1.3bn.

              Or in other words, that's equivalent to four hot chocolates, an Americana and two sandwiches.
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                As I sat down with a whisky, my wife said, "paint the fence, clean the car, fix the roof...?"
                "Go to Paris, have sex with a model and stay sober," I replied.
                "What the f**k are you on about?" she snarled.
                "Oh," I said, "I thought we were talking about things I'm not going to do today."
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  RIP Dame Vera Lynn. A wonderful singer and an absolute stunner back in the day.

                  I wanted to bang her the moment I saw her singing for the troops in Afghanistan - Wayne Rooney
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    'High Street clothing store Monsoon enters administration.'

                    I thought they might have been able to weather the storm.
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      My son said, "What's wrong with mam?"I said, "She's not talking to me."He said, "Why, what have you done?"He said, "I wish I knew, so I could f**king do it again."
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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