I phoned the Child Abuse Hotline.A kid answered, called me a muppet and told me to f*** off.
- Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
- Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!
Please put more jokes here
Collapse
X
Collapse
-
-
Breaking news...........Two Muslims have crashed a speedboat into the Thames barrier in London.Police think it might be the start of Ram-a-dam.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
-
I walked into a bookshop and said to the girl behind the counter "I'm looking for a book by Shakespeare.""Which one?" She replied."William, you thick muppet."Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
-
Have you noticed how many F1 drivers have names linked to Scottish towns?
Stirling Moss, Lewis Hamilton, Eddie Irvine.......
Ayr Town Centre....Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
-
Breaking news, midget holds seance for charity and runs off with the takings.Small medium at large.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
-
I was in the kitchen when a flying insect came through the window and exploded.I think it was a jihadi longlegs.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
-
Talk about coincidence - BBC NEWS: Three Cliff Walkers have fallen to their death on an expedition....Can't believe they all had the same name....Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
-
I went to the best ever burger van today.It was so good, it had 4 Michelin tyres.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
-
I just applied for a job in the Citroen factory. I had to send in 2CVs.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
-
We were so poor growing up that for breakfast we had ordinary KAlways forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
- Home
- News & Features
- First Timers
- IR35 / S660 / BN66
- Employee Benefit Trusts
- Agency Workers Regulations
- MSC Legislation
- Limited Companies
- Dividends
- Umbrella Company
- VAT / Flat Rate VAT
- Job News & Guides
- Money News & Guides
- Guide to Contracts
- Successful Contracting
- Contracting Overseas
- Contractor Calculators
- MVL
- Contractor Expenses
Advertisers
Contractor Services
CUK News
- Streamline Your Retirement with iSIPP: A Solution for Contractor Pensions Sep 1 09:13
- Making the most of pension lump sums: overview for contractors Sep 1 08:36
- Umbrella company tribunal cases are opening up; are your wages subject to unlawful deductions, too? Aug 31 08:38
- Contractors, relabelling 'labour' as 'services' to appear 'fully contracted out' won't dupe IR35 inspectors Aug 31 08:30
- How often does HMRC check tax returns? Aug 30 08:27
- Work-life balance as an IT contractor: 5 top tips from a tech recruiter Aug 30 08:20
- Autumn Statement 2023 tipped to prioritise mental health, in a boost for UK workplaces Aug 29 08:33
- Final reminder for contractors to respond to the umbrella consultation (closing today) Aug 29 08:09
- Top 5 most in demand cyber security contract roles Aug 25 08:38
- Changes to the right to request flexible working are incoming, but how will contractors be affected? Aug 24 08:25
Comment