Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

I phoned the Child Abuse Hotline.A kid answered, called me a muppet and told me to f*** off.

[vetran]

Breaking news...........Two Muslims have crashed a speedboat into the Thames barrier in London.Police think it might be the start of Ram-a-dam.

[vetran]

I walked into a bookshop and said to the girl behind the counter "I'm looking for a book by Shakespeare.""Which one?" She replied."William, you thick muppet."

[vetran]

Have you noticed how many F1 drivers have names linked to Scottish towns?

Stirling Moss, Lewis Hamilton, Eddie Irvine.......







Ayr Town Centre....

[vetran]

Breaking news, midget holds seance for charity and runs off with the takings.Small medium at large.

[vetran]

I was in the kitchen when a flying insect came through the window and exploded.I think it was a jihadi longlegs.

[vetran]

Talk about coincidence - BBC NEWS: Three Cliff Walkers have fallen to their death on an expedition....Can't believe they all had the same name....

[vetran]

I went to the best ever burger van today.It was so good, it had 4 Michelin tyres.

[vetran]

I just applied for a job in the Citroen factory. I had to send in 2CVs.

[vetran]

We were so poor growing up that for breakfast we had ordinary K