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    I phoned the Child Abuse Hotline.A kid answered, called me a muppet and told me to f*** off.
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      Breaking news...........Two Muslims have crashed a speedboat into the Thames barrier in London.Police think it might be the start of Ram-a-dam.
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        I walked into a bookshop and said to the girl behind the counter "I'm looking for a book by Shakespeare.""Which one?" She replied."William, you thick muppet."
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          Have you noticed how many F1 drivers have names linked to Scottish towns?

          Stirling Moss, Lewis Hamilton, Eddie Irvine.......







          Ayr Town Centre....
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            Breaking news, midget holds seance for charity and runs off with the takings.Small medium at large.
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              I was in the kitchen when a flying insect came through the window and exploded.I think it was a jihadi longlegs.
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                Talk about coincidence - BBC NEWS: Three Cliff Walkers have fallen to their death on an expedition....Can't believe they all had the same name....
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  I went to the best ever burger van today.It was so good, it had 4 Michelin tyres.
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    I just applied for a job in the Citroen factory. I had to send in 2CVs.
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      We were so poor growing up that for breakfast we had ordinary K
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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