Please put more jokes here

[BR14]

a white horse goes into a bar.
the barman says 'we've got a scotch named after you'
the horse says 'what? nutscratcher III?'

[NotAllThere]

Scientists have just discovered that even the weakest dilution of covid-19 can cause infection.

Homeopaths are crapping themselves.

[BR14]

if you can keep your head, when all around you are losing theirs............................................ .......

you obviously don't understand the situation.

[WTFH]

I’ve just invented a new word: plagiarism

[vetran]

Boris has said water sports will be allowed from Wednesday, but his message was confusing. Will prostitutes be pissed off or pissed on?

[vetran]

Nicola Sturgeon says exercising does not mean sunbathing....Sunbathing?......Scotland?

[vetran]

For BR14

Throughout the country, people will be analyising Boris's speech.Women will be sat there anxiously thinking about money worries, food queues, shortage of medication, school re-opening dates, issues re public transport usage and work.Whilst blokes will be sat there thinking "Oh bollocks, pubs still not open"

[vetran]

David Cameron has said that he for one cannot wait 'til the pubs re-open.He's missing a child and thinks that's the most likely place to look.

[vetran]

'I can see lots of strangers in parks but I can't see my children?' Piers Morgan asks.For Boris, they're both the same thing.

[WTFH]

“You can even play sports, but only with members of your own household,” says Boris Johnson...

...forgetting that not everyone has sired an entire cricket XI.