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Please put more jokes here

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    Originally posted by vetran View Post
    In other news the Government has announced that you are allowed to play sport with MEMBERS OF YOUR OWN FAMILY.

    Accordingly, Norwich v Ipswich will be going ahead on Friday night as planned....
    KUATB
    {emotionless greeting}

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      There aren’t any downright stupid pasta names but there are a fusilli ones
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        A shop assistant fiercely fought off an armed robber with his labelling gun, yesterday.
        Police are now looking for a man and say there's a price on his head
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          So glad the golf courses are opening again.
          I can take my dog for a proper tulip now.
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            I bought a fanny shaped Chinese vase at auction.

            Apparently it's from the Minge Dynasty.
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              When it comes to my job, the people above me always get the most credit and respect.




              Then again, I guess that's to be expected when you're a pallbearer.
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                Drug dealers you can go back to work.

                Shop lifters you'll have to wait till July.
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  My local Alcoholics Anonymous meetings happen in a tree-house up a ladder.It's a 12-step program.
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    and for our congregation:

                    So there I was -- out of work, day drinking in my underwear and moaning about the future.





                    Then the coronavirus hit.
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      I saw a woman had broken down at the side of the road.


                      I didn't stop to help her.


                      I'm not a psychiatrist.
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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