Please put more jokes here

[ladymuck]

What borders on stupidity?

Mexico and Canada

[WTFH]

I think when the next pandemic hits, we should close the hospitals but keep comedy clubs open to find out which is the best medicine once and for all.

[WTFH]

Wife: since lockdown, do you think I’ve put on weight?
Husband: you weren’t exactly skinny beforehand

Time of death: 11pm
Cause of death: Covid.


...and that is why you shouldn’t believe the government statistics

[Paddy]

An Eskimo's car breaksdown. The AA man arrives and says, "You may have blown a seal". Eskimo replies, "No, its just frostbite on my lips."

[vetran]

Tony Christie visits his local Zoo and sees a sign saying..
Fat Scaly Insect EaterThis Way.
After a while he reaches a cage and asks the Zookeeper...Is This The Weighty Armadillo?

[vetran]

"I'm doing my first skydive tomorrow."
"Tandem?"
"No way. It's dangerous enough without a bike."

[vetran]

I wanted to create a # to show the military are people too, but I just keep getting retweets from Sea World



#marinelivesmatter

[ladymuck]

Tony Christie visits his local Zoo and sees a sign saying..
Fat Scaly Insect EaterThis Way.
After a while he reaches a cage and asks the Zookeeper...Is This The Weighty Armadillo?

Oh...that's so bad...

[WTFH]

Had a painter and decorator in at the weekend. He was an ex pilot.

Made a lovely job on the landing.

[LondonManc]

I read a headline at the weekend about a polygamous cannibal family; two wives eight children.