I joined a forum to discuss the joys of desserts - but when I complained about one that went mouldy they banned me for being off tapioca. I asked to be let back in, but they just say go.
- Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
- Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!
Please put more jokes here
Collapse
X
Collapse
-
-
If there is a massive covid outbreak at a Trump rally, is that a Klandemic?{emotionless greeting}
Three Word SloganComment
-
Rumour has it there is going to be clapping for Vera Lynn
Don't know where,
Don't know when.{emotionless greeting}
Three Word SloganComment
-
"I'll stop you wanking you dirty little bastard, " shouted my mum after she caught me with my dick in hand and picture of NLyUK on my computer."Not a flaming chance, " I yelled at her. Then the crafty cow threw a picture of Katie Hopkins down in front of me.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
-
I couldn't believe it when my wife was all over me last night and said, "Oh darling, you smell so sexy... come upstairs and give me the rogering of a lifetime ! What's that incredible new scent you're trying ?" "None," I replied, "But for dinner I just stopped at KFC."Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
-
I watched a film about a giant crocodile with erectile dysfunction....
Lake Flaccid.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
-
If anybody wants a copy of Osteopath Weekly I have back issues.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
-
As an astrophycist I can assure you black matter lives.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
-
This year I won't be going to the Maldives because of covid19.
Normally I don't go to the Maldives because I can't afford it .Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
-
I've just bought my pet duck a face mask so I can take him for a walk during corona-virus.
Its nothing flashy but it fits the bill.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
- Home
- News & Features
- First Timers
- IR35 / S660 / BN66
- Employee Benefit Trusts
- Agency Workers Regulations
- MSC Legislation
- Limited Companies
- Dividends
- Umbrella Company
- VAT / Flat Rate VAT
- Job News & Guides
- Money News & Guides
- Guide to Contracts
- Successful Contracting
- Contracting Overseas
- Contractor Calculators
- MVL
- Contractor Expenses
Advertisers
Contractor Services
CUK News
- Streamline Your Retirement with iSIPP: A Solution for Contractor Pensions Sep 1 09:13
- Making the most of pension lump sums: overview for contractors Sep 1 08:36
- Umbrella company tribunal cases are opening up; are your wages subject to unlawful deductions, too? Aug 31 08:38
- Contractors, relabelling 'labour' as 'services' to appear 'fully contracted out' won't dupe IR35 inspectors Aug 31 08:30
- How often does HMRC check tax returns? Aug 30 08:27
- Work-life balance as an IT contractor: 5 top tips from a tech recruiter Aug 30 08:20
- Autumn Statement 2023 tipped to prioritise mental health, in a boost for UK workplaces Aug 29 08:33
- Final reminder for contractors to respond to the umbrella consultation (closing today) Aug 29 08:09
- Top 5 most in demand cyber security contract roles Aug 25 08:38
- Changes to the right to request flexible working are incoming, but how will contractors be affected? Aug 24 08:25
Comment