My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic…But I refused. If I’m going to have sex, it’s going to be on my own Accord.
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Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much. -
I couldn't undo the buttons on my jumper, so i tried pulling it over my head but got it stuck.I'm in A&E now waiting to see a cardyologist.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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"Diana!" I said greeting my Mother-In-Law as she walked through the door...She said, "My name's Anna." I said, "Yeah, I know."Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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If light travels faster than the speed of sound…How come I can hear the guy in the BMW behind me honk before the light turns green?Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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I must get my dyslexia sorted out. I bought a car off ebay last week with no reserve. The ******* thing won't go backwards.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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I got really emotional at the petrol station this morning. I don't know why, I just started filling up!Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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I actually told that joke to Johnny Dumfries in person (had to leave him out of the gag cause that's not his real name). It's more of a spoken gag than a written oneOriginally posted by vetran View PostWhen freedom comes along, don't PISH in the water supply.....Comment
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To ride a horse, or not to ride a horse.
That is equestrian.…Maybe we ain’t that young anymoreComment
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The person who invented autocorrect should burn in hello…Maybe we ain’t that young anymoreComment
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My wife is like a newspaper.
There's a new issue every day…Maybe we ain’t that young anymoreComment
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