Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic…But I refused. If I’m going to have sex, it’s going to be on my own Accord.

[vetran]

I couldn't undo the buttons on my jumper, so i tried pulling it over my head but got it stuck.I'm in A&E now waiting to see a cardyologist.

[vetran]

"Diana!" I said greeting my Mother-In-Law as she walked through the door...She said, "My name's Anna." I said, "Yeah, I know."

[vetran]

If light travels faster than the speed of sound…How come I can hear the guy in the BMW behind me honk before the light turns green?

[vetran]

I must get my dyslexia sorted out. I bought a car off ebay last week with no reserve. The ******* thing won't go backwards.

[vetran]

I got really emotional at the petrol station this morning. I don't know why, I just started filling up!

[TestMangler]

Have you noticed how many F1 drivers have names linked to Scottish towns?

Stirling Moss, Lewis Hamilton, Eddie Irvine.......


Ayr Town Centre....

I actually told that joke to Johnny Dumfries in person (had to leave him out of the gag cause that's not his real name). It's more of a spoken gag than a written one

[WTFH]

To ride a horse, or not to ride a horse.

That is equestrian.

[WTFH]

The person who invented autocorrect should burn in hello

[WTFH]

My wife is like a newspaper.

There's a new issue every day