Please put more jokes here

[WTFH]

Last year’s London Marathon I managed 3hr 28min 37sec. This year I beat that by 20 minutes before I got bored and changed channels.

[shaunbhoy]

Convince people you are Bran from Game Of Thrones by Tipexing your Eyeballs and sitting under a tree whilst wearing your Nans coat.

[NigelJK]

Wasn't Pavlov the guy who cut up dogs to prove the pancreas secreted insulin?

[Grasser73]

The police came my door last night and said, 'Are you familiar with the letters HB'?
I said, 'No I'm not'
'How about LS'?
'No'
'What about JD'?
I said, hang on a minute, am I a suspect or something'?
They said, 'No, these are just initial enquiries!'

[WTFH]

Dog owners will understand this one...

You go for a walk in the park with your dog, and you know there's a poo coming, so quickly you check to see if you've got a bag with you.
Then there's that awkward moment where you stare at her and she stares back as the stinker is curled out. Then you have to pick it up in the bag and walk on as if everything is normal.
And then two minutes later you repeat the whole process, except this time it's her poo you have to pick up...

[WTFH]

Mrs BrilloPad: walkie talkies are the least romantic anniversary gift ever... this relationship is over

BP: this is relationship is what, Sarah? Over.

[xoggoth]

Mrs BrilloPad: walkie talkies are the least romantic anniversary gift ever... this relationship is over

BP: this is relationship is what, Sarah? Over.

Where you watching Family Guy last night?

YouTube

[BrilloPad]

As per Frankie Boyle, to stop climate change practice cannibalism. Preferable a meat eater. Top marks for eating a pilot.

[vetran]

Mrs BrilloPad: walkie talkies are the least romantic anniversary gift ever... this relationship is over

BP: this is relationship is what, Sarah? Over.

hey its the closest he is ever going to be to being there when she orgasms!

[vetran]

BAFTA wants comedy series to mention climate change.Yet they ban 'It ain't half hot mum'?.