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Please put more jokes here

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    one for MF / Suity

    I was breast feeding my son in the park when he suddenly started crying.

    I said, "Look boy, they might not be as tasty as your mother's, but they're just as big."
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      I got dropped from the golden shower team earlier.

      Apparently,due to a piss poor performance.
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        My wife walked into the living room without any clothes on.

        "Show me your love," she purred.

        "Here," I said, handing her a photo. "Her name is Jenny and she is my secretary."
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          Thirty ******* years of the same tulip song and not once has Bob thought just to buy the poor bastards a calender so they would know when Christmas is.
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            for the pedants

            Homosexuality makes me sick.

            It should be idemsexuality or homophilia. Mixing Greek and Latin roots is just plain wrong.
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              I've got a Katie Price advent calendar...

              The flaps are already open.
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                I was looking in the mirror this morning and noticed a tiny bald patch on the top of my head.

                It appeared out of thin hair.
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  When I said I wanted to find a girlfriend with no gag reflex, I didn't mean no sense of humour.
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    My internet connection was so slow yesterday I ended up just shagging the wife.
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      Every major supermarket in Britain now has a Polish section.

                      It's usually called a Staff Room.
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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