Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

one for MF / Suity

I was breast feeding my son in the park when he suddenly started crying.

I said, "Look boy, they might not be as tasty as your mother's, but they're just as big."

[vetran]

I got dropped from the golden shower team earlier.

Apparently,due to a piss poor performance.

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My wife walked into the living room without any clothes on.

"Show me your love," she purred.

"Here," I said, handing her a photo. "Her name is Jenny and she is my secretary."

[vetran]

Thirty ******* years of the same tulip song and not once has Bob thought just to buy the poor bastards a calender so they would know when Christmas is.

[vetran]

for the pedants

Homosexuality makes me sick.

It should be idemsexuality or homophilia. Mixing Greek and Latin roots is just plain wrong.

[vetran]

I've got a Katie Price advent calendar...

The flaps are already open.

[vetran]

I was looking in the mirror this morning and noticed a tiny bald patch on the top of my head.

It appeared out of thin hair.

[vetran]

When I said I wanted to find a girlfriend with no gag reflex, I didn't mean no sense of humour.

[vetran]

My internet connection was so slow yesterday I ended up just shagging the wife.

[vetran]

Every major supermarket in Britain now has a Polish section.

It's usually called a Staff Room.