• Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
  • Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!

Please put more jokes here

Collapse
X
  •  
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    one for MF / Suity

    I was breast feeding my son in the park when he suddenly started crying.

    I said, "Look boy, they might not be as tasty as your mother's, but they're just as big."
    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

    Comment


      I got dropped from the golden shower team earlier.

      Apparently,due to a piss poor performance.
      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

      Comment


        My wife walked into the living room without any clothes on.

        "Show me your love," she purred.

        "Here," I said, handing her a photo. "Her name is Jenny and she is my secretary."
        Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

        Comment


          Thirty ******* years of the same tulip song and not once has Bob thought just to buy the poor bastards a calender so they would know when Christmas is.
          Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

          Comment


            for the pedants

            Homosexuality makes me sick.

            It should be idemsexuality or homophilia. Mixing Greek and Latin roots is just plain wrong.
            Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

            Comment


              I've got a Katie Price advent calendar...

              The flaps are already open.
              Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

              Comment


                I was looking in the mirror this morning and noticed a tiny bald patch on the top of my head.

                It appeared out of thin hair.
                Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                Comment


                  When I said I wanted to find a girlfriend with no gag reflex, I didn't mean no sense of humour.
                  Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                  Comment


                    My internet connection was so slow yesterday I ended up just shagging the wife.
                    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                    Comment


                      Every major supermarket in Britain now has a Polish section.

                      It's usually called a Staff Room.
                      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                      Comment

                      Working...
                      X