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Please put more jokes here

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    It looks like Facebook is down.

    I have no idea what to be offended by now.
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      When my son got home from school today, I asked him what he'd done:

      "Guided reading," he replied.

      I said, "I don't give a **** what Guy did, I asked you."
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        As the political fallout rages about the personal details of 675,000 Weatherspoons customers being made public, the government are demanding to know how they managed to get into the DWP sick and unemployed database.
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          Why did the cows return to the marijuana field?

          It was the pot calling the cattle back!
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            I went to the library and asked the librarian if she had any books on exhibitionism.

            She said, "For ****s sake, you've already taken it out."
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              Donald Trump is so fed up of his own hair that he's even started to think like a skinhead.
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                If all Americans with weapons shot Americans they hated.

                Good news. There would be no Americans left.

                Bad news. Justin Bieber is Canadian.
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  I'm getting a drone for Christmas.

                  No doubt the wife will continue the noise into Boxing Day and then onto New Year.
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    The wife(tm) got into bed there, naked. She leaned over and said "what would you like to do to my body?"

                    It turns out that "Identify it" wasn't the right answer.
                    {emotionless greeting}

                    Three Word Slogan

                    Comment


                      20 people have been killed in Argentina after a police bus drove off a cliff.

                      Clearly pigs don't fly.
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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