Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

It looks like Facebook is down.

I have no idea what to be offended by now.

[vetran]

When my son got home from school today, I asked him what he'd done:

"Guided reading," he replied.

I said, "I don't give a **** what Guy did, I asked you."

[vetran]

As the political fallout rages about the personal details of 675,000 Weatherspoons customers being made public, the government are demanding to know how they managed to get into the DWP sick and unemployed database.

[vetran]

Why did the cows return to the marijuana field?

It was the pot calling the cattle back!

[vetran]

I went to the library and asked the librarian if she had any books on exhibitionism.

She said, "For ****s sake, you've already taken it out."

[vetran]

Donald Trump is so fed up of his own hair that he's even started to think like a skinhead.

[vetran]

If all Americans with weapons shot Americans they hated.

Good news. There would be no Americans left.

Bad news. Justin Bieber is Canadian.

[vetran]

I'm getting a drone for Christmas.

No doubt the wife will continue the noise into Boxing Day and then onto New Year.

[WTFH]

The wife(tm) got into bed there, naked. She leaned over and said "what would you like to do to my body?"

It turns out that "Identify it" wasn't the right answer.

[vetran]

20 people have been killed in Argentina after a police bus drove off a cliff.

Clearly pigs don't fly.