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Please put more jokes here

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    Originally posted by WTFH View Post
    I lost a good friend and drinking buddy in a tragic accident last week.

    He got his finger stuck in a wedding ring.
    don't worry with CUK he will probably be free soon!
    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

    Comment


      What's the difference between a hooker, your girlfriend, and your wife?

      When you're having sex a hooker says "are you done yet?" Your girlfriend says "you're done already?" And your wife says "beige, we should definitely paint the ceiling beige."
      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

      Comment


        I watched a gang bang video involving several bus drivers and one woman.

        She looked bored for half an hour, then suddenly they all came at the same time.
        Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

        Comment


          What's the rudest type of Elf?

          ---

          The Gof**kyoursElf.
          Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

          Comment


            For AndyW

            What's the difference between three dicks and a joke?

            Your mum can't take a joke.
            Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

            Comment


              I've just met a woman who raps about equality for women everywhere.

              She's called 'Feminem'.
              Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

              Comment


                Life...

                It's just an f in lie.
                Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                Comment


                  The morning of my wife's birthday I handed her her first gift. As she unwrapped it she said, "It's a ******* wand! What do I want with a ******* wand?"

                  "It's not just any wand," I replied, "It's a magic wand!"

                  "Really?" she said. "What does it do?"

                  "Why don't you give it shake," I told her, "and don't forget to say the magic words."

                  "Okay," she said shaking the wand. "Abracadabra!"

                  "**** me, love!" I said, peering down the side of the bed. "You're not going to believe this."

                  "What is it?" she asked all excitedly.

                  I said, "You've just made all your other presents disappear!"
                  Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                  Comment


                    for the Bremainers

                    Exaggerations went up by a million percent last year.
                    Last edited by vetran; 5 June 2016, 17:47.
                    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                    Comment


                      So the BBC have reported that teen pregnancy is falling.
                      But child obesity is rising.
                      Just proves no one wants to f**k a fatty.
                      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                      Comment

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