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    A young new prostitute goes up to an old hand on the corner on a quiet night, "It's a bit slack tonight,"

    "just wait till you have been at it a while, it will be slack every ******* night," she replied.
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      I have finally met a woman who is both irresistible as well as insatiable...

      And she'll stay that way as long as she's married.
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        for Halo & BGG

        They say a man's house is his castle.

        True. I've got a dungeon in mine.
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          I went into the Betty Ford clinic today.

          I was hammered and driving past when I lost control of my car.
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            A One Direction fan put a brick through my living room window because I told a joke about her favourite band.

            When it comes to immaturity and stupidity, nobody beats my wife.
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              BBC News - A man cut off his own testicles with scissors before storming into a church where a wedding was about to take place.

              To be fair I never had the balls to go through with my wedding!
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                I saw the new 'Diana' film yesterday, and I must say I was very disappointed with the script, the acting and the directing.

                Cracking car chase, though.
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  Bought the wife an antique gilt mirror the other day.

                  Every time she looks in it she feels old and that she needs to exercise.
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    My first date from Inflatables.com was a big let down.
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      I saw some Japanese girls on a nudist beach.

                      I thought to myself: "Nice nips."
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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