A choirboy returned to the church and raped the priest who had abused him years earlier. When arrested, the police took his mitigating circumstances into consideration and only charged him with a breach of the priest.
- Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
- Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!
Please put more jokes here
Collapse
X
Collapse
-
-
"Dad, do you remember telling me you would buy me a car if I could prove I wasn't gay,"
"Yes, of course I do, the offer still stands."
"Well get your money out, this is my friend Alan, and he will swear I am the most miserable bastard he has ever f***ed."Comment
-
My wife just said she wants to renew our marriage vows.
She got quite upset when I told her not to bother and let them expire.Comment
-
My wife says I'm insensitive to the needs of those who are mentally challenged.
So just to prove her wrong, I've set up a 5k charity run called 'Race for Retards'Comment
-
I've just seen the doctor. He says I need to get out more.
To be specific I need to get out of his wife, his bed and his houseComment
-
A phoned 999 and asked what number to ring if it wasn't an emergency.
"101!" Replied the operator.
Then I phoned 101 and left a message informing them that my wife was being murdered.Comment
-
For Scooter2
I was reading an article in the Daily Mail about how charities in Scotland receive 3 times as much Lottery funding as those in England.
Hardly sounds fair, until you consider that playing the Lottery is the main industry in Scotland nowadays.Comment
-
Comment
-
Comment
-
Comment
- Home
- News & Features
- First Timers
- IR35 / S660 / BN66
- Employee Benefit Trusts
- Agency Workers Regulations
- MSC Legislation
- Limited Companies
- Dividends
- Umbrella Company
- VAT / Flat Rate VAT
- Job News & Guides
- Money News & Guides
- Guide to Contracts
- Successful Contracting
- Contracting Overseas
- Contractor Calculators
- MVL
- Contractor Expenses
Advertisers
Contractor Services
CUK News
- Andrew Griffith MP says Tories would reform IR35 Oct 7 00:41
- New umbrella company JSL rules: a 2026 guide for contractors Oct 5 22:50
- Top 5 contractor compliance challenges, as 2025-26 nears Oct 3 08:53
- Joint and Several Liability ‘won’t retire HMRC's naughty list’ Oct 2 05:28
- What contractors can take from the Industria Umbrella Ltd case Sep 30 23:05
- Is ‘Open To Work’ on LinkedIn due an IR35 dropdown menu? Sep 30 05:57
- IR35: Control — updated for 2025-26 Sep 28 21:28
- Can a WhatsApp message really be a contract? Sep 25 20:17
- Can a WhatsApp message really be a contract? Sep 25 08:17
- ‘Subdued’ IT contractor jobs market took third tumble in a row in August Sep 25 08:07
Comment