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Please put more jokes here

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    A choirboy returned to the church and raped the priest who had abused him years earlier. When arrested, the police took his mitigating circumstances into consideration and only charged him with a breach of the priest.
    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

    Comment


      "Dad, do you remember telling me you would buy me a car if I could prove I wasn't gay,"

      "Yes, of course I do, the offer still stands."

      "Well get your money out, this is my friend Alan, and he will swear I am the most miserable bastard he has ever f***ed."
      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

      Comment


        My wife just said she wants to renew our marriage vows.

        She got quite upset when I told her not to bother and let them expire.
        Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

        Comment


          My wife says I'm insensitive to the needs of those who are mentally challenged.

          So just to prove her wrong, I've set up a 5k charity run called 'Race for Retards'
          Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

          Comment


            I've just seen the doctor. He says I need to get out more.

            To be specific I need to get out of his wife, his bed and his house
            Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

            Comment


              A phoned 999 and asked what number to ring if it wasn't an emergency.

              "101!" Replied the operator.

              Then I phoned 101 and left a message informing them that my wife was being murdered.
              Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

              Comment


                For Scooter2

                I was reading an article in the Daily Mail about how charities in Scotland receive 3 times as much Lottery funding as those in England.

                Hardly sounds fair, until you consider that playing the Lottery is the main industry in Scotland nowadays.
                Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                Comment


                  Pinocchio's wife was really upset when he became a real boy.

                  She missed his wood.
                  Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                  Comment


                    I've got an Adele satnav in my car.

                    I'm sick of the sight of McDonald's.
                    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                    Comment


                      I would make a really good procrastinator...if I ever got around to it.
                      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                      Comment

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