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Please put more jokes here

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    Originally posted by BrilloPad View Post
    She laughed so hard the tears ran down her legs.
    Good job I made Mrs BP happy.
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      for some of our readers

      I wish someone would invent a spermicide aerosol.

      That way, cleaning the keyboard of my laptop would be so much easier.
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        for MF

        Doctor said I need to lose weight.
        "What's the heaviest you've been?" he asked.....
        "18 & a half stone" I told him.
        "And what's the lightest you've been?" said the doc....
        "7lb 4oz" I replied.
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          Two Essex girls were chatting and one asked 'Did you enjoy your 18th last night'

          The other said 'No, I was worn out from the other 17 that had me'
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            "Would you have sex with the lights on, or is that too kinky?" I asked my new girlfriend.

            "No, that's not kinky at all," she replied.

            "Great!" I said. "You stand there with your arms spread and I'll go and get the Christmas tree box."
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              Demi Moore. Man dead in pool.

              Michael Barrymore. Man dead in pool.

              Is this a new breed of moors murderers?
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                I'm not saying my wife is fat but she's just taken a selfie in panoramic mode.
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  After his performance of Bohemian Rhapsody at Glasto, I hope Kanye West carries on in the tradition of Freddie Mercury.

                  ...and dies of AIDS.

                  --

                  I bought a Jihadi sex doll at the weekend.

                  It blows itself up.

                  --

                  During a job interview yesterday, I poured some water into a cup and it overflowed slightly, spilling onto the desk.

                  "Nervous?" asked the interviewer.

                  "No," I replied, "I always give 110%."

                  --

                  The Greek government is getting so desperate, it's started responding to emails from Nigerian millionaires.

                  --

                  11:34 - Arrived at crime scene.

                  11:34 - Examined body. Signs of a struggle.

                  11:34 - Found murder weapon in drain.

                  11:34 - Realised watch was broken.

                  --

                  I've opened a new restaurant called 'Peace and Quiet.'

                  Kids' meals are £200.

                  Read more: Forums @ The Digital Fix
                  Originally posted by Stevie Wonder Boy
                  I can't see any way to do it can you please advise?

                  I want my account deleted and all of my information removed, I want to invoke my right to be forgotten.

                  Comment


                    Peers are outraged at Lord Sewell's actions recently.
                    They have standards, after all.

                    He should not have been using a £5 to snort coke of a prostitute's chest!



                    The standards are that it should be a £20.
                    {emotionless greeting}

                    Three Word Slogan

                    Comment


                      Originally posted by BrilloPad View Post
                      SIGNS YOU'VE BEEN IN LONDON TOO LONG
                      2. You think it is perfectly normal to pay over £3 for a pint.

                      haha just reading through this thread and found this (2008 post)... out of date humour is the best

                      Comment

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