Please put more jokes here

[BrilloPad]

Scientists have identified 4 types of orgasm :-

1. The religious : oh god, oh god, oh god
2. The positive : oh yes, oh yes, oh yes
3. The negative : oh no, oh no, oh no
4. The fake : oh <insert your username here>, oh <insert your username here>, oh <insert your username here>

[SimonMac]

Whats long and green and smells like pork








Kermit the frogs fingers


Yes that was considered comedy once upon a time !

Q: What's long and pink and smells of Ginger?

A: Fred Astair's middle finger.



(that one's even older)

What's gray and smells of curry?





John Major's middle finger

[SimonMac]

Why is a woman like KFC?

Once you have finished with the breast and thigh all you have left if a greasy box to stick your bone in!

[EternalOptimist]

womans joke -

men are like toilets

either vacant, engaged or full of sh!te

[BrilloPad]

I just tried to get into my favourite Italian restaurant, but there was a fat lady stuck in the doorway. I couldn't get pasta!

[TestMangler]

On a recent holiday in Thialand, two beautiful girls walked up to me and said "We'd like to have a threesome with you."

I thought, hey, that's just like winning the lottery !!

When we got back to my room, it was just like winning the lottery. Six matching balls...........

[SimonMac]

I was on a train in Thailand and a stunning woman walked by, I said to myself please don't have a hard on, please don't have a hard on but alas she did

[SimonMac]

Such an unfair world. When a man talks dirty to a woman its considered sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man its £2.50/min (charges may vary).

[SimonMac]

Got stopped in the street outside Boots today by a woman with a clipboard asking "What products do I use for grooming?" She was a bit taken aback when I replied, "Facebook".

[SimonMac]

Today I watched a pirated movie. It was rated 3.1415926535 stars.