• Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
  • Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!

Please put more jokes here

Collapse
X
  •  
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    Scientists have identified 4 types of orgasm :-

    1. The religious : oh god, oh god, oh god
    2. The positive : oh yes, oh yes, oh yes
    3. The negative : oh no, oh no, oh no
    4. The fake : oh <insert your username here>, oh <insert your username here>, oh <insert your username here>

    Comment


      Originally posted by sharclar View Post
      Whats long and green and smells like pork








      Kermit the frogs fingers


      Yes that was considered comedy once upon a time !
      Originally posted by wobbegong View Post
      Q: What's long and pink and smells of Ginger?

      A: Fred Astair's middle finger.



      (that one's even older)
      What's gray and smells of curry?





      John Major's middle finger
      Originally posted by Stevie Wonder Boy
      I can't see any way to do it can you please advise?

      I want my account deleted and all of my information removed, I want to invoke my right to be forgotten.

      Comment


        Why is a woman like KFC?

        Once you have finished with the breast and thigh all you have left if a greasy box to stick your bone in!
        Originally posted by Stevie Wonder Boy
        I can't see any way to do it can you please advise?

        I want my account deleted and all of my information removed, I want to invoke my right to be forgotten.

        Comment


          womans joke -

          men are like toilets

          either vacant, engaged or full of sh!te
          (\__/)
          (>'.'<)
          ("")("") Born to Drink. Forced to Work

          Comment


            I just tried to get into my favourite Italian restaurant, but there was a fat lady stuck in the doorway. I couldn't get pasta!

            Comment


              On a recent holiday in Thialand, two beautiful girls walked up to me and said "We'd like to have a threesome with you."

              I thought, hey, that's just like winning the lottery !!

              When we got back to my room, it was just like winning the lottery. Six matching balls...........
              When freedom comes along, don't PISH in the water supply.....

              Comment


                I was on a train in Thailand and a stunning woman walked by, I said to myself please don't have a hard on, please don't have a hard on but alas she did
                Originally posted by Stevie Wonder Boy
                I can't see any way to do it can you please advise?

                I want my account deleted and all of my information removed, I want to invoke my right to be forgotten.

                Comment


                  Such an unfair world. When a man talks dirty to a woman its considered sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man its £2.50/min (charges may vary).
                  Originally posted by Stevie Wonder Boy
                  I can't see any way to do it can you please advise?

                  I want my account deleted and all of my information removed, I want to invoke my right to be forgotten.

                  Comment


                    Got stopped in the street outside Boots today by a woman with a clipboard asking "What products do I use for grooming?" She was a bit taken aback when I replied, "Facebook".
                    Originally posted by Stevie Wonder Boy
                    I can't see any way to do it can you please advise?

                    I want my account deleted and all of my information removed, I want to invoke my right to be forgotten.

                    Comment


                      Today I watched a pirated movie. It was rated 3.1415926535 stars.
                      Originally posted by Stevie Wonder Boy
                      I can't see any way to do it can you please advise?

                      I want my account deleted and all of my information removed, I want to invoke my right to be forgotten.

                      Comment

                      Working...
                      X