PRETEND to be a skilled pharmacist by taking half an hour to put some tablets in a bloody bag.
- Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
- Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!
Please put more jokes here
Collapse
X
Collapse
-
“The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain” -
It's suppose to be a joke not a fact.Originally posted by shaunbhoy View PostPRETEND to be a skilled pharmacist by taking half an hour to put some tablets in a bloody bag."You’re just a bad memory who doesn’t know when to go away" JRComment
-
'Her name is Rio and she dances on the sand. And that one, that's Phil. He just sits on the cement. No idea where B&Q find these people.'“The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”Comment
-
Really important to eat both seasonally and locally if you can.
A creme egg from your nearest londis could cost as little as 50p.“The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”Comment
-
FOOL people into thinking that you don't like sugar in your tea by saying "none for me thanks" when asked.“The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”Comment
-
Alarm your friends when visiting them by teaching your 2-year-old to point into empty rooms and say "Who is that sad little boy?"“The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”Comment
-
I've packed my merino wool socks for our trip to the Alps, it's because of my fear of getting frostbite in my feet.
Turns out I'm lack toes intolerant.…Maybe we ain’t that young anymoreComment
-
There are two difficult problems in software engineering, concurrency, naming things and off-by-one errors.Originally posted by Stevie Wonder BoyI can't see any way to do it can you please advise?
I want my account deleted and all of my information removed, I want to invoke my right to be forgotten.Comment
-
I count 3.Originally posted by SimonMac View PostThere are two difficult problems in software engineering, concurrency, naming things and off-by-one errors.
Comment
-
What's the Portuguese for woosh?Originally posted by Bee View PostI count 3.
Originally posted by Stevie Wonder BoyI can't see any way to do it can you please advise?
I want my account deleted and all of my information removed, I want to invoke my right to be forgotten.Comment
- Home
- News & Features
- First Timers
- IR35 / S660 / BN66
- Employee Benefit Trusts
- Agency Workers Regulations
- MSC Legislation
- Limited Companies
- Dividends
- Umbrella Company
- VAT / Flat Rate VAT
- Job News & Guides
- Money News & Guides
- Guide to Contracts
- Successful Contracting
- Contracting Overseas
- Contractor Calculators
- MVL
- Contractor Expenses
Advertisers
Contractor Services
CUK News
- Why might an umbrella company fail to pay its total tax bill to HMRC? Yesterday 06:08
- Contractors, here are the late payment fixes that the Lords just turned down Aug 17 08:03
- How will HMRC's Direct Debit plan affect contractors paying VAT and PAYE? Aug 13 23:54
- HMRC's new 'reckless' tax offence: an IR35 game-changer for contractors? Aug 13 13:50
- “I’m not a Machiavellian overlord”: Adrian Sacco breaks his silence on the Contractor Loan Recalls Aug 13 06:50
- ‘Bounce back’ in IT contractor demand in July 2026, even if ‘one swallow doesn’t make a summer’ Aug 12 07:50
- Are fractional and interim CTO roles ripe for IT contractors? Aug 11 07:33
- Where is UK IT contractor demand heading before 2027? Aug 10 05:53
- Where is UK IT contractor demand heading before 2027? Aug 9 21:53
- Umbrella, PEO/GPP, or salaried EOR. Which is up 153% in 2026? Aug 6 08:43

Comment