Originally posted by SimonMac
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Is it Bee? -
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CONFUSE future archaeologists by being buried with a sword and an iPad.“The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”Comment
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I spent 6 hours linking all my watches together to make a belt. Turned out to be a complete waist of time."Being nice costs nothing and sometimes gets you extra bacon" - Pondlife.Comment
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I'd recently decorated our lounge so my next door neighbour asked me how many rolls of wallpaper it took. I told him that I'd bought ten.
He came storming round two days later and said, "hey, you said you bought ten rolls of wallpaper. I had three left over."
I replied, "that's funny, so did I."The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't existComment
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When washing your car on a sunny weekend morning and spotting a neighbour leaving their house, start washing the car window with a brick. That'll stop them asking if you'll do theirs next.The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't existComment
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A fat bird approached me in the pub last night.
She said "I'm Anita."
I said "Yeah I can tell!"“The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”Comment
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Magistrates. Avoid the disappointment of offenders not turning up for their court dates by convening in Wetherspoons.“The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”Comment
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Fat birds are the slaggiest.
How easy is it to get them into bed? Piece of cake.The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't existComment
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Don't get mad...get even...Comment
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