Please put more jokes here

[BrilloPad]

What's the Portuguese for woosh?

Is it Bee?

[greenlake]

Is it Bee?

[shaunbhoy]

CONFUSE future archaeologists by being buried with a sword and an iPad.

[DaveB]

I spent 6 hours linking all my watches together to make a belt. Turned out to be a complete waist of time.

[LondonManc]

I'd recently decorated our lounge so my next door neighbour asked me how many rolls of wallpaper it took. I told him that I'd bought ten.

He came storming round two days later and said, "hey, you said you bought ten rolls of wallpaper. I had three left over."

I replied, "that's funny, so did I."

[LondonManc]

When washing your car on a sunny weekend morning and spotting a neighbour leaving their house, start washing the car window with a brick. That'll stop them asking if you'll do theirs next.

[shaunbhoy]

A fat bird approached me in the pub last night.
She said "I'm Anita."
I said "Yeah I can tell!"

[shaunbhoy]

Magistrates. Avoid the disappointment of offenders not turning up for their court dates by convening in Wetherspoons.

[LondonManc]

Fat birds are the slaggiest.
How easy is it to get them into bed? Piece of cake.

[kaiser78]

These are funny;

https://www.thesun.co.uk/living/3200...truths-parent/