• Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.

Please put more jokes here

Collapse
X
  •  
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    Paddy walks into Greggs and asks, "how much are your sausage rolls?"
    "They're 2 for 99p," replies the assistant.
    "And how much for just one?" enquires Paddy.
    "69p" comes the reply.
    "Ah, I'll take the other one then."
    The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

    Comment


      UP AND COMING Bands. Get free advertising by calling yourselves "Missing cat"
      “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

      Comment


        Crazy woman near my kid's school. Calls herself a lollipop woman then gets all upset when you try to lick her.
        The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

        Comment


          Last night my wife found me in the pub, threw a pint over my head, and called me a '******* ****'. Every year she has to go and ruin our wedding anniversary.
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            Some people see images of our lord and saviour in their toast. Some see him in the clouds. Now it seems to be in toilets. Every time I go to the toilet I always hear the person who goes into after me say, "Jesus Christ".
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              17 Americans have been killed by furniture last year. Only 4 have been killed by ISIS.

              So the Yanks are going to bomb IKEA.
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                They say Mexicans are bordering on the insane. So what? So are the Canadians.
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  Jamie Oliver says there's "nothin worse in the world than an undercooked green bean"
                  I'll go out on a limb & say he doesn't watch the news
                  “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

                  Comment


                    My wife's sister knocked me out yesterday. What kind of sneaky bitch puts chloroform in her dirty knickers?
                    The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

                    Comment


                      A man and a woman go into a lift. The man asks "can I smell your pussy?". The woman replies "OF COURSE NOT!". The man says "Must be your feet then".

                      Comment

                      Working...
                      X