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Please put more jokes here

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    Did you hear about the streaker who was about to retire?
    He changed his mind and decided to stick it out for another couple of years.
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      I was walking through town today when midget ran passed shouting, "All Paki's stink", I thought to myself, that's a little racist.
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        Sex therapists say the most effective way a woman can arouse a man is to lick his ears, personally I think it's bollocks.
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          It can't have been much fun for Jesus as a child, but at least he could leave doors open without his parents yelling,

          "Were you born in a ******* barn?"
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            Now Trump is president I am not worried about the third world war.

            That's the third world's problem.
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              Take it from me; I have reverse kleptomania.
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                For every action there's a social media overreaction.
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  My mum said "you treat this place like a hotel"......

                  She will regret that when I give her a low score on TripAdvisor for 'rude staff'
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    Why do Americans chill their beer?
                    So they can tell it apart from piss.
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      I hate all this terrorist business. I used to love the days when you could look at an unattended bag on a train or a bus and think to yourself, "I'm gonna ****** have that!"
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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