Joey Barton said to be devastated about 18 month ban from football for gambling, as he had £20 on it being 2 years.
- Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
- Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!
Please put more jokes here
Collapse
X
Collapse
-
“The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain” -
If I was a billionaire I'd name my son 'Left to right' to make it difficult for kidnappers to locate him in his class photograph.“The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”Comment
-
Women are so ungrateful these days.
I try and hold the door for them but all they do is scream and tell me to get out of the bathroom.“The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”Comment
-
I've Got 2 ringside tickets for the Joshua v Klitschko fight. I paid £2500 each but didn't realise when I bought them it was on the same day as My wedding, If your interested I'm looking for someone to take My Place.
It's at St Ignatious Church in Lancashire at 3pm the brides name is Julie she's 5'4" about 115lbs she's a good cook too. She will be the one in the white dress.“The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”Comment
-
A man walks into the doctor's and slaps his huge cock onto the desk.
The doctor says "What's wrong with it?"
The man replies "Nothing, it's a ******* beauty, isn't it?"Comment
-
Comment
-
If someone says they'd "kill for some chocolate", test their integrity by handing them a mars bar and a list of names.“The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”Comment
-
My paper manufacturing business has folded seven times so I'm pretty sure it can't happen again.“The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”Comment
-
I was so outraged when my wife accused me of being a transvestite that I packed her things and left.“The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”Comment
-
My wife says I’m hopeless at fixing electrical appliances.
Well, she’s in for a shock.“The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”Comment
- Home
- News & Features
- First Timers
- IR35 / S660 / BN66
- Employee Benefit Trusts
- Agency Workers Regulations
- MSC Legislation
- Limited Companies
- Dividends
- Umbrella Company
- VAT / Flat Rate VAT
- Job News & Guides
- Money News & Guides
- Guide to Contracts
- Successful Contracting
- Contracting Overseas
- Contractor Calculators
- MVL
- Contractor Expenses
Advertisers
Contractor Services
CUK News
- How to answer at interview, ‘What’s your greatest weakness?’ Today 09:59
- Business Asset Disposal Relief changes in April 2025: Q&A Yesterday 09:37
- How debt transfer rules will hit umbrella companies in 2026 Nov 12 09:28
- IT contractor demand floundering despite Autumn Budget 2024 Nov 11 09:30
- An IR35 bill of £19m for National Resources Wales may be just the tip of its iceberg Nov 7 09:20
- Micro-entity accounts: Overview, and how to file with HMRC Nov 6 09:27
- Will HMRC’s 9% interest rate bully you into submission? Nov 5 09:10
- Business Account with ANNA Money Nov 1 15:51
- Autumn Budget 2024: Reeves raids contractor take-home pay Oct 31 14:11
- How Autumn Budget 2024 affects homes, property and mortgages Oct 31 09:23
Comment