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Please put more jokes here

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    The judge : " A woman shot her husband beacuse he stepped on her freshly mopped floor ..."
    Police guy : " That is correct ! "
    "And it took you 20 minutes to aresst her ? why ? "

    " The floor was stiil wet " replied the police guy
    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

    Comment


      What does a bloke with a 12" c0ck have for breakfast

      This morning I had eggs and bacon yesterday I had cornflakes
      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

      Comment


        Jeff Wayne couldn't believe it when he came home one evening to find his wife bringing herself to orgasm with a chocolate bar.
        "The chances of anyone coming from Mars, are a million to one!" he said.
        Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

        Comment


          After so many years of marriage, it is amazing the fantastic shape my wife is still in.

          A perfect circle.
          Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

          Comment


            Teacher: "Can you use the word 'suppositories' in a sentence?"

            Little Johnny: "Yes, Miss. Suppositories win the election again, that's us all fscked."
            Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

            Comment


              Before booking my first flight from America to the UK, I always wondered how obvious it would be to the locals that I was not from there.

              After five minutes in Bradford, I found that being white and speaking English are dead giveaways.
              Last edited by vetran; 25 April 2017, 12:31.
              Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

              Comment


                I think my wife's golf driving lessons are starting to pay off.

                She managed to pull the car on the driveway 2 over par earlier.
                Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                Comment


                  One for PC's shoulder

                  I was halfway through a superb wank earlier and thought "I shouldn't be doing this".
                  The woman on checkout 4 agreed.
                  Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                  Comment


                    PC is busy today

                    Having a wank is the equivalent of walking 200 steps

                    If you don't believe me check my Fitbit
                    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                    Comment


                      Mohammed never actually specified that the 72 virgins would be women.
                      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                      Comment

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