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Please put more jokes here

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    What's green and smells of tulip
    Kermits arse
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      Singer Janet Jackson has announced she is expecting her first child at the age of fifty.

      That's no big deal. By that age, her brother had had hundreds.
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        Thank god I am atheist.
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          I went to a disco last night.
          They played the twist, so I did the twist.
          They played the jump, so I jumped.
          They played come on Eileen.
          I got thrown out for that one.
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            What do you call a pissed off Muslim? Amin Amood.
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              Jesus once said "He who lives by the sword, will die by the sword"

              He was a carpenter that died by being nailed to a piece of wood, so he might have had a point.
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                For the Donald

                If you are not meant to grab it then why is it called a snatch?
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  For NickFitz

                  I think I promised to have three beers, and be home by ten.

                  I always get those two mixed up.
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    The past, the present and the future walked into a bar. It was really tense.
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      Ive just been mugged in Bradford, the police officer asked if I could give a description of the assailant.

                      "I can give a very accurate description," I replied, as he opened his notebook. "He was a white youth aged between...."

                      "That's OK sir," he said, closing his book. "We're well acquainted with the lad in question."
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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