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    Roger Moore
    007 feet under
    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

    Comment


      "Theresa May has arrived at Manchester children’s hospital to visit victims of the attack"

      Have they not suffered enough?
      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

      Comment


        I've decided to enter the TV singing contest for schizophrenics - The Voices
        Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

        Comment


          I saw my young daughter crying over her homework yesterday, I said:

          "Talk to me baby, a problem shared is a problem halved."

          Unfortunately her problem was fractions so she hadn't got a ******* clue what I was talking about.
          Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

          Comment


            My girlfriend is really kinky but really hard to understand.


            She tells me that she is into donkey punching during sex, then freaks when I buy a donkey.
            Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

            Comment


              Little Johnny was sat in class, and the teacher called on him and said, "Johnny, could you use 'I' in a sentence please?"

              Little Johnny began, "I is--"

              "Little Johnny," said the teacher, "you've learned this by now, the correct grammar is 'I am'."

              Johnny continued, "I am the 9th letter of the alphabet."
              Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

              Comment


                I started dating this girl and she told me all her flatmate Lisa does is sit around all day drinking beer and watching movies.

                I kind of felt bad for her.

                Because now I'm interested in her flatmate.
                Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                Comment


                  sick

                  I have a new starter business idea that going to go viral. It's a unique product, created by harvesting the eggs from dead women.

                  I'm calling it: Cadaviar.
                  Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                  Comment


                    My wife told me she was leaving me because I was too clingy.
                    "Ok," I said, "I'll come with you."
                    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                    Comment


                      What do you call a fat psychic?
                      A four-chin teller.
                      “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

                      Comment

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