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    #9641
    Vincent Van Broth
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment

      #9642
      I've just been sacked as a set designer.
      I left without making a scene.
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment

        #9643
        My Spanish neighbour has just thrown a right strop, reckons that I've been playing my Madness too loud...


        Miguels mad at me.
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment

          #9644
          Police pulled me over in Wales for erratic driving and said I was driving to fast I replied I'm not im driving to Caerphilly
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment

            #9645
            Why did the trans man only eat salads?

            He was a Herbefore.
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment

              #9646
              I've got a pet owl who fancies its chances of getting laid via social media.

              It likes to tweet to woo.
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment

                #9647
                Old Mcdonald had a highly intelligent computer programme.



                AI-AI-O
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment

                  #9648
                  My mate said to the wife: "Honey, I have a problem".

                  "Darling" she replied. "If you have a problem, then we have a problem. We're a married couple and we are in this together so we'll act as a unit, ok? Don't ever forget that."

                  "Well then," he replied, "we've got your sister pregnant".

                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment

                    #9649
                    I can't believe people are trolling Ellie Simmonds, saying she's the perfect height for a certain sex act.
                    That's a low blow.
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment

                      #9650
                      Just purchased an occasional chair

                      It's a chest of drawers the rest of the time
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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