• Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
  • Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!

Please put more jokes here

Collapse
X
  •  
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    This morning, I attended a fantastic lecture on practical jokes.


    I was glued to my seat.
    {emotionless greeting}

    Three Word Slogan

    Comment


      I went for a job interview and I was put on the short list.


      I’m 6ft, how big are the others?
      {emotionless greeting}

      Three Word Slogan

      Comment


        The political situation in the UK is beyond parody.

        During last night's Repair Shop, King Charles asked Jay Blades to form a government by mistake.
        {emotionless greeting}

        Three Word Slogan

        Comment


          I'm creating a new perfume for introverts.


          It's called: Leave Me The Fu Cologne.
          {emotionless greeting}

          Three Word Slogan

          Comment


            My doctor's such a prude, he actually gasped when I dropped my pants and bent over.


            To be fair, the other people in Lidl were a bit surprised too.
            {emotionless greeting}

            Three Word Slogan

            Comment


              I was reading about a has-been who died yesterday having gained notoriety for ******* his 13-year-old cousin.

              Unfortunately it was Jerry Lee Lewis & not Prince Andrew.
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                What's Dog tulip and Women got in common.
                The older they get the easier they are to pick up.
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  An owl has been rescued 100 miles out at sea by a fishing boat.
                  That's all fair well but what happened to the pussy cat?
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt.




                    Archaeologists believe it may be Pharaoh Roche.
                    {emotionless greeting}

                    Three Word Slogan

                    Comment


                      King Charles I: Dissolved Parliament.
                      King Charles II: Dissolved Parliament.
                      King Charles III: ..........................................
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

                      Working...
                      X