Please put more jokes here

[WTFH]

The last thing my grandfather said to me before he died was “Pints! Gallons! Litres!”



That spoke volumes.

[WTFH]

My friend once used laughing gas as deodorant.


He smelled funny the whole day.

[WTFH]

I've just quit my contract drilling wells.



The hourly rate was fine but the work was boring.

[WTFH]

I named my yacht "DFS" because it's got a sail on.

[vetran]

Whats the difference between a dwarf and a midget?
Very little.

[vetran]

Our Olympic sprinting team should be hermes and evri delivery drivers..
Never seen someone move so fast after knocking on a door, getting down a flight of stairs and into their car before i open the door .

[vetran]

BREAKING: Biden says it could take days for Democrat votes to be harvested and double counted.

[vetran]

Bible: Jesus performs 1st miracle of turning water into wine.
Social media: Actually wine contains 85% water so that was only 15% of a miracle.

[vetran]

For sale 90s iconic puppets Sooty and Sweep.

Any offer accepted, I just want them off my hands.

[WTFH]

Thoughts go out my Mother-in-law.

She's been taken to hospital after a bee landed on her face.

Luckily she wasn't stung as I was too quick with the shovel.