Please put more jokes here

[WTFH]

Do you know what really floats my boat?



A high tide

[vetran]

My Winter Fat is gone.


Now I have Spring Rolls.

[WTFH]

I identify as anti-perspirant

...and before you ask, yes, I'm Sure.

[vetran]

A man is sitting at home on the verandah with his wife and he says, "I love you. So, so much"

She asks, "Is that you or the beer talking?"

He replies, "It's me, talking to the beer."

[vetran]

The Indian restaurant my mate works for is so secretive he had to sign a legal agreement that he wouldn't share their flatbread recipe.



Just their standard naan disclosure agreement.

[vetran]

Me & the wife are getting a divorce & she's already run off with my tins of Bird's & Ambrosia



This is going to be an awful custardy battle

[vetran]

When cannibalism starts, vegans are the closest we have to a free-range, grass-fed meat source.

[vetran]

I told the wife I ate Madonna for breakfast.
She asked, "You ate Madonna?
What do you mean, you cheating bar steward?"
I said, "I had a pop tart."

[WTFH]

I love calculating Pi so much that I do it 22/7

[LondonManc]

Do you remember that joke I told you about gaslighting?