Do you know what really floats my boat?
A high tide
A high tide
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…Maybe we ain’t that young anymore -
My Winter Fat is gone.
Now I have Spring Rolls.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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I identify as anti-perspirant
...and before you ask, yes, I'm Sure.…Maybe we ain’t that young anymoreComment
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A man is sitting at home on the verandah with his wife and he says, "I love you. So, so much"
She asks, "Is that you or the beer talking?"
He replies, "It's me, talking to the beer."Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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The Indian restaurant my mate works for is so secretive he had to sign a legal agreement that he wouldn't share their flatbread recipe.
Just their standard naan disclosure agreement.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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Me & the wife are getting a divorce & she's already run off with my tins of Bird's & Ambrosia
This is going to be an awful custardy battleAlways forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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When cannibalism starts, vegans are the closest we have to a free-range, grass-fed meat source.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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I told the wife I ate Madonna for breakfast.
She asked, "You ate Madonna?
What do you mean, you cheating bar steward?"
I said, "I had a pop tart."Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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I love calculating Pi so much that I do it 22/7…Maybe we ain’t that young anymoreComment
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Do you remember that joke I told you about gaslighting?The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't existComment
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