How am I supposed to believe humans are the dominant species when a spider is over here building a house with their arsehole?
- Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
- Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!
Please put more jokes here
Collapse
X
Collapse
-
-
Working for the Israeli Defence Force in Palestine isn?t a job.
It?s an occupation.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
-
Two windmills are in a field, one says to the other: What sort of music do you like
The other replies: Well, I'm a big metal fan.{emotionless greeting}
Three Word SloganComment
-
I got an email saying "At Google Earth we can even read maps backwards, click here to find out more."
And I thought "that's just spam"{emotionless greeting}
Three Word SloganComment
-
Why did it take so long before there were any female astronauts?
"Houston, we have a problem."
"What?"
"Never mind."
"What's the problem?"
"Nothing."
"Please tell us?"
"You know what the problem is."Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
-
A study has found that some men are actually 'allergic' to their own orgasms.
A nut allergy?Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
-
Researchers have grown a clump of brain cells in a laboratory that are capable of displaying awareness of their surroundings by playing the video game Pong.
The Conservative Party are trying to elect it as their new leader.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
-
So, NAKED RUNNING is a thing.
Apparently it means running without GPS, music, or any electronic gadgets!
Wish I knew that an hour ago.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
-
Kwasi Kwarteng and Jeremy Hunt walk into a recession....Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
-
Apparently Kwasi Kwarteng had trouble getting a seat on the plane home last night because nobody wanted him anywhere near business or economy?Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
- Home
- News & Features
- First Timers
- IR35 / S660 / BN66
- Employee Benefit Trusts
- Agency Workers Regulations
- MSC Legislation
- Limited Companies
- Dividends
- Umbrella Company
- VAT / Flat Rate VAT
- Job News & Guides
- Money News & Guides
- Guide to Contracts
- Successful Contracting
- Contracting Overseas
- Contractor Calculators
- MVL
- Contractor Expenses
Advertisers
Contractor Services
CUK News
- FCSA backs umbrella company regulation consultation Today 08:33
- What my contractor umbrella company makes of the consultation to regulate our business Today 08:17
- Contractor CVL Solution from SFP Yesterday 14:31
- Government finally publishes umbrella company regulation plans Yesterday 08:30
- 56,000 contractor payslips just got forensically audited. Here's how umbrella companies performed Yesterday 08:11
- Starling's Business Toolkit: Banking and bookkeeping in one place Jun 6 12:40
- Is networking as an IT contractor important, and how to network successfully? Jun 6 08:33
- Ads on Facebook stating 'get your money from the taxman' get banned, after misleading contractors Jun 5 23:36
- Six tips for contractors with work-life balance syncing issues Jun 5 08:29
- Contractor business coach backs at least five new LinkedIn hacks Jun 5 08:19
Comment