Please put more jokes here

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Vincent Van Broth

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I've just been sacked as a set designer.
I left without making a scene.

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My Spanish neighbour has just thrown a right strop, reckons that I've been playing my Madness too loud...


Miguels mad at me.

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Police pulled me over in Wales for erratic driving and said I was driving to fast I replied I'm not im driving to Caerphilly

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Why did the trans man only eat salads?

He was a Herbefore.

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I've got a pet owl who fancies its chances of getting laid via social media.

It likes to tweet to woo.

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Old Mcdonald had a highly intelligent computer programme.



AI-AI-O

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My mate said to the wife: "Honey, I have a problem".

"Darling" she replied. "If you have a problem, then we have a problem. We're a married couple and we are in this together so we'll act as a unit, ok? Don't ever forget that."

"Well then," he replied, "we've got your sister pregnant".

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I can't believe people are trolling Ellie Simmonds, saying she's the perfect height for a certain sex act.
That's a low blow.

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Just purchased an occasional chair

It's a chest of drawers the rest of the time