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Please put more jokes here

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    I’ve just checked my pet frog’s genealogy.


    He’s a little bit French, part Scottish & a tad Pole.
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      Lawyer: Did you kill him?
      Me: No.
      Lawyer: Do you know what the punishment is for committing perjury?
      Me: Much less than murder.
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        Just heard that the new James Bond will be aimed at the woke brigade. will star as a man transitioning to a woman.
        The film will be called …


        “Cocktopussy”
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          ‘An Englishman, an Indian and an American walk into a bar , the barman says "The usual Mr Sunak?"
          "Being nice costs nothing and sometimes gets you extra bacon" - Pondlife.

          Comment


            Having gender reassignment surgery is such a dick move.
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              With all the Russians being sanctioned, who is going to pay Boris & Carrie's fine?
              {emotionless greeting}

              Three Word Slogan

              Comment


                Did you know that If you took every vein and artery out of a human body and put them all in a line, you’d end up in Broadmoor?
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  Just got stopped by the police for stealing a massive TV from Tesco.
                  I explained that there were more important crimes going on and a war 1000 miles away and they apologised and helped me put it in the car
                  I was in Tesco for less than 10 minutes.
                  {emotionless greeting}

                  Three Word Slogan

                  Comment


                    Did you hear about the Spanish girl who got sick by eating contaminated Kinder chocolate?

                    She was no bueno.
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      When the war is over, will NATO be asking to join Ukraine?
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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