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Please put more jokes here

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    I have a friend who tried to take a selfie in the shower, but the image was too blurry

    He has selfie steam issues.
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      I'm fine with people identifying as non-binary.



      I just wish they wouldn't 01 and 1 and 1 about it.
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        My statistics professor is certain he will get in shape this year.


        He's doing confidence intervals.
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          I climbed a tree yesterday to try to get some goose feathers.
          "Get down from there!", shouted the park keeper.
          I said, "Yes, That's what I'm trying to do!"
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            My son is the most uncoordinated kid I've ever seen. If you throw a ball at him, not only will he not catch it, but you can almost guarantee it will hit him straight on the forehead. Don't ask him to kick a ball either. He'll completely miss it and trip over his own feet. Honestly, he's a total spaz. Anyway, long story short, he's been with Spurs since he was eight and he's making his first team debut tomorrow.
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              Just been to my first meeting of Porn Addicts Anonymous.



              They told me to cum again soon.
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                A lot of Biden voters would’ve been very disappointed with his performance if they hadn’t died twenty years ago.
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  I went to the zoo last week.

                  In the first cage there were two monkeys French-kissing.

                  In the next cage were two lemurs tossing each other off, and in the third cage were two hyenas doing a 69.



                  It was a heavy petting zoo.
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    Labour's brand new campaign slogan is "Win The Future".



                    WTF??
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      Here's a simple recipe for turning leftover potato peelings, broccoli stalks and old carrots into bacon.

                      1. Feed them to a pig.
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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