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    Nick is a smooth talker

    I knocked at my date's door today and her father answered.
    He said, "My daughter tells me that you're taking her for a meal and then the cinema."
    "Yes, I'm taking her to the Chinese down the road," I replied.
    "And what are you hoping to see afterwards?" he asked.

    I said, "Her tits."
    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

    Comment


      What do you call a Dutchman with a First Class degree?

      A clever clogs
      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

      Comment


        Piers Morgan is the kind of guy you’d want to grab a beer with after receiving a terminal diagnosis—



        so you’d feel better about dying...
        Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

        Comment


          Trump:

          - Evacuate civilians
          - Dispose of all the weapons
          - Bring back the army

          Biden:

          Let's do all of that in reverse.
          Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

          Comment


            Today i got a memo from the HR for sexual harassment..

            All that happened was a female co-worker came wearing a t-shirt with the caption "GUESS"

            So i said " might be 32C " ..
            Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

            Comment


              She was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only the 'T'shirt that she normally slept in.
              As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said softly, "you've got to make love to me this very moment"
              My eyes lit up as I thought, "I am either still dreaming or this is going to be my lucky day"
              Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and then gave it my all; right there on the kitchen table.
              Afterwards she said, "Thanks," and returned to the stove, her T-shirt still around her neck.
              Happy, but a little puzzled, I asked, "what was that about"
              She explained "The egg timer's broken"
              {emotionless greeting}

              Three Word Slogan

              Comment


                Originally posted by WTFH View Post
                She was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only the 'T'shirt that she normally slept in.
                As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said softly, "you've got to make love to me this very moment"
                My eyes lit up as I thought, "I am either still dreaming or this is going to be my lucky day"
                Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and then gave it my all; right there on the kitchen table.
                Afterwards she said, "Thanks," and returned to the stove, her T-shirt still around her neck.
                Happy, but a little puzzled, I asked, "what was that about"
                She explained "The egg timer's broken"
                oh she likes very soft boiled eggs then?
                Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                Comment


                  Originally posted by WTFH View Post
                  She was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only the 'T'shirt that she normally slept in.
                  As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said softly, "you've got to make love to me this very moment"
                  My eyes lit up as I thought, "I am either still dreaming or this is going to be my lucky day"
                  Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and then gave it my all; right there on the kitchen table.
                  Afterwards she said, "Thanks," and returned to the stove, her T-shirt still around her neck.
                  Happy, but a little puzzled, I asked, "what was that about"
                  She explained "The egg timer's broken"
                  Risking salmonella there, isn't she?
                  Down with racism. Long live miscegenation!

                  Comment


                    Pessimist: The glass is half empty.

                    Optimist: The glass is half full.

                    Opportunist: Drinks both glasses while the other two are arguing about it.
                    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                    Comment


                      As a teacher, the best thing about doing online lessons is you don't have to worry about the students smelling alcohol on your breath.
                      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                      Comment

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